'Working on something I love or find interesting, I can do anything, quickly and to perfection. But most people will just see this as evidence of my laziness. 'Why can’t you work at math the way you work on your essays?' It’s not the same.'
I am smart. I am funny. I am caring, compassionate, loyal, enthusiastic, hardworking, and genuine. Yet that isn’t what most people see. Sometimes, my own family struggles to see the good things. My attention deficit disorder is a funhouse mirror that distorts what I look like to other people… and, more often than I would like, how I see myself., so I can seem dumb and immature. I have trouble doing tasks that aren’t interesting, so I seem lazy. If I feel rejected and I yell, I seem mean.
. That math test I got a 50 on — I studied harder than anyone in my class. It was boring, and took so much effort to focus. How am I supposed to learn math when all my effort goes into just reading the page? How am I supposed to enjoy school when my emotions make it feel like an act of courage to just leave the house?
Yet every day I suit up and go to school, where I am told I need to try harder, or am teased by my classmates, where I feel alone and misunderstood. I wish people could see me as I really am. I can finish a 1000-piece puzzle in two days. I can recite the Harry Potter books word for word. I can destroy you in chess using my pawns. I will win three awards for the essays I write this year.
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