'I didn't expect was the crippling anxiety I would experience for the next six months.'
I couldn't give Logan a bath by myself. Every time I did, I had crystal clear visions of him drowning in the tub and me not being able to save him. When I drove with him in the car seat, I could not stop picturing horrific car crashes. When I laid my head on my pillow, my brain filled with visions of him suffocating. At one particularly low moment, I remember thinking that I was not cut out to be a mother – and I almost wished I never had.and paralysis.
Throughout it all, I never once mentioned it to my doctor. During my regular postpartum checkup, I answered her quiz honestly – I cried for no reason, I didn't find joy in things I normally did, I struggled with social connection and leaving the house. She told me that was normal for postpartum moms, and I had nothing to worry about.
When Logan was six months old, things started getting much better for me. He was sleeping through the night , he was eating solid food, and he was generally a happier baby than ever before. Around this time, I connected with a friend who told me about . I had never heard the term before, although I have struggled with mild anxiety throughout my life, so I went home and researched.
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