Turkeys Are Mass Hysteria: A Turkey Pardon Dispatch - Washingtonian

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Turkeys Are Mass Hysteria: A Turkey Pardon Dispatch - Washingtonian
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At America's most beloved lobbying event, two turkeys were condemned to unpleasant (if delayed) fates. 🦃🦃

When I arrive on the South Lawn of the White House, the pardoning turkeys are loose: two substantial birds—nearly waist-high to their human handlers—with no leashes or cages, ambling across the grounds. One of them casually pecks at the grass while the other beats his wings, and I’m surprised they’re not making a break for it: Do these creatures truly believe that the President of the United States will personally spare their lives? I wouldn’t, but to each his own.

Chocolate and Chip at the National Turkey Federation press conference Sunday. Photograph by Evy Mages As Biden begins the pardoning, Chocolate and Chip are not visible. Beside the podium is a turkey table—covered in burlap, strung with garlands of autumnal flowers, pumpkins piled along the sides—and Chocolate is supposed to be on it. But he and Chip are hiding, refusing to cooperate with the good folks from Big Fowl. The President ambles over to figure out what’s going on, and finally, the birds’ minder gets Chocolate on the table, lifting his glorious heft.

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