Anytime you are tempted to treat your dog like a “pack member,” ask yourself: Do you choose a life of tension and violent struggle, or one of peaceful respect and caring?
We can choose the type of wolf pack we use as a role model.The next time someone advises you to train your dog based on"wolf pack behavior," ask them which type of wolf pack they actually have in mind.
is a collection of unrelated wolves who have been forced together into captivity, such as in a zoo. These wolves had no choice in their environment or choice of companions. Wolves in an artificial pack struggle daily to establish social order and must compete constantly for resources and dominance. They take whatever steps are necessary to survive in this unnatural situation. Relationships within this type of pack can be tense and fierce, full of conflict, intimidation, andin the wild generally enjoys peaceful relationships. This type of pack consists of an adult male and an adult female living in the wild who have selected each other as mates for life and work together to raise any young they may have. A natural, wild wolf pack is a family. Over seasons and years, the wolf parents share responsibility for their offspring. The adults have fluid, flexible roles as circumstances require. Sometimes, the father will go out hunting while the mother stays near to protect their little ones. At other times, the mother leaves to hunt while the father stays home. In this type of pack, there is no dominant “alpha"—just two family leaders who cooperate together. In times of danger, members of a natural wolf pack work together to protect against threats. Pack members support and cooperate with each other. Internal disputes get resolved diplomatically and without violence. This makes good sense for survival, because any injury in the wild carries a high risk of infection, inability to hunt or eat, starvation, and potentially death to the pack. Overall, members of a wild, natural wolf pack enjoy calm, stable relationships. Young wolves defer to their parents before eventually striking off on their own to find a mate and begin their own pack family.Do you choose a life of tension, instability, and continual conflict? Do you prefer to control those around you through intimidation? Do you prefer to struggle, and expect others to struggle, in a race to dominate and become an “alpha?” Do you prioritize your own survival and well-being without any thought to theDo you choose a life of calm domestic tranquility? Do you like to live peacefully with respect and care for each other? Can you be a confident and protective presence who enables well-being for everyone in the pack? Can you enforce family rules in a kind and productive manner? Do you relish trust,, and cooperation? Are you willing to help every member of the pack thrive? Then the natural, wild wolf pack is the role model for you. Some people are surprised to learn that a natural, wild wolf pack is a cohesive and collaborative family group that practices diplomacy and supports all its members. But it makes sense. A wild wolf pack has the best chance of survival if its members work with, not against, each other. We can follow their example with the dogs in our own family. Creating a climate of calm connection can improve everyone’s well-being. For more on the biological and neurochemical rationale for seeing your dog as a family member and how you can parent them with compassion, cooperation, and connection, see my book,30 Mental Health Tune-ups Life never gets easier. Fortunately, psychology is keeping up, uncovering new ways to maintain mental and physical health, and positivity and confidence, through manageable daily habits like these. How many are you ready to try?Self Tests are all about you. Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.
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