'What we're seeing right now in America is an intense hatred of women. People hate women. I'm not afraid to say that. I see it, I hear it.' A frank convo with torreslovesyou about being a woman in music.
"I was in love, I am in love. Writing, for me, is a means of control. That was a time when I didn't feel like I had a lot of control in many aspects of my life — my career or my personal life, really — so it started from there."I've never had such a real romance — I guess that's what it is [laughs]. I've either always been in control or not in control at all, but this was the first time I've felt those violent swings between the two.
Was that feeling of not having control, that extended to your professional life, part of what helped you choose to produce the album yourself? "It played into it in a huge way. It was a control thing, but it was also an acknowledgment on my part that there is not a guarantee that I'll get to make a new record. It's never guaranteed, and it's not that I thought that before it's just that making this record, especially, felt like such a trial. I figured, if I was getting this opportunity to record a new album, it was imperative to me that it be something that was 100% mine.
As it pertains to the music industry, and specifically producing, an interesting thing is that I tried to hire women. I don't want to give names, but before I self-produced this record, I reached out to several women about engineering or producing with me. One or two of them were game and it didn't work out with scheduling — that's totally fine. Two of three of them simply passed because they thought it wasn't for them, or whatever the reason was — I don't know.
"The truth is that I don't want to do anything more than I want to do this. I did spend quite a big chunk of time doubting if this was the thing I'd keep doing. I had my parents looking at me and asking what my plan b was because they were afraid for me. I was afraid for myself. There was an actual period of time when I was paying for things with dimes. I'm not kidding, dimes.
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