TOM EATON: A terribly small Big Man meets an immovable object 🔒
I can’t tell you exactly when he arrived because there is a point, somewhere between the third and fourth hour of standing in a queue, where nothing really matters any more.
There had been a woman behind me, I remembered, a small woman, who had alarmed me by standing as close to me as was socially acceptable until I eventually realised she was using me as a windbreak. The great variety of life, of the world as it had been before 7.30am, had been reduced and contracted and carved into a single, monolithic, unshakeable commandment: thou shalt obey one queue, and thou shalt queue in no other queue but this one, and if thou standeth in thine correct place in the one true queue, then nobody shall enter the Hall of Licence Disc Salvation before thee.
I don’t know who or what he was. But I know he was SA entitlement made flesh, the sort of terribly small Big Man who parks his Range Rover in disabled bays in the unconscious hope that someone will challenge him so he can get into a proper fight and briefly silence the terrible howling in the hole where his soul should be.
The official behind the glass greeted him. She even appeared to listen to him. And then, with a serenity and grace worthy of those of us who looked at her with pleading eyes, she pressed a button and the electronic sign above her window changed from OPEN to CLOSED. If we’d had the strength we would have cheered.
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