The huge outbursts that come from your small child are terrifying -- and a shock to your senses. What can you do to help your child manage anger in a better way?
— about homework, making friends, your family, the world — ringing in your ears? Have arguments and shouting kept you up nights, asking: Where is this anger coming from, and how can I help him deal with it? Here are two strategies that work.Physical activity takes your child’s mind off the causes of his anger, while increasing neurotransmitters in the brain that support wellbeing. Your fuse isn’t quite as short after you’ve broken a sweat.
Encourage your child to explain his feelings. When he is frustrated, say, “Use your words, Sammy.” When she is angry, say, “Annie, tell me how you feel.” If your child says, “I’m so mad, I feel like hitting you!” the confession is better than committing the act. Applaud the fact that she is expressing herself instead of acting out.To sharpen your child’s facility with words, make a habit of reading aloud to her, or, as she gets older, reading to each other.
When he does break the contract, physical chores — mowing the lawn or washing the car — make good punishments. Physical exertion will release the aggression that landed him in trouble. If the angry behavior continues, persist. Also add reinforcements — have a favorite uncle or an adult/mentor talk with him. And keep coming back to the contract. Defusing anger is sometimes a battle of wills. Your child should understand that you have a bigger circle of support than he can fend off.
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