'To my fellow front line moms who can’t stay home because you are essential: I know how you are feeling right now. I see you, I acknowledge you, and I’m rooting for you.'
When the picture was taken, I had just returned to work from maternity leave and was starting to get comfortable with my new identity as a working mom. My husband and I were blessed to have in-home childcare support from both of our amazing mothers.Once coronavirus cases appeared in our local hospitals, it became clear that my home and my family were then at imminent risk of exposure.
This new normal is laborious and anxiety provoking with all the,"Oh no, did I touch that surface? Did I wipe that down enough?” thoughts constantly parading through my head. However, it has become somewhat of a coping mechanism in dealing with my greatest fear, bringing the virus inside my home and infecting my family.Dr. Michelle Wan is an emergency medicine physician and the mother of 8-month-old Amel Wan-McIntosh.
I also knew that I couldn’t touch them yet, so I couldn’t do that, while at the same time not wanting to go inside because I would have to be a mom and a wife and yet I was still trying to process what I had just left in the ER and then feelings of guilt for even having the feeling of not wanting to go inside yet.So instead, I stayed still for a moment, and I let myself have a meltdown.
I see my white coat, and I feel respect and admiration for my colleagues and all front liners risking it all every day. I see a scared, new mom determined to keep her baby safe. I see my daughter, and I feel hope for the future.Dr. Michelle Wan with 8-month-old Amel Wan-McIntosh.Although I was initially reluctant to share publicly, I thought it was important.
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