Discover how TikTok mom Layla Shaikley skillfully reframed her son's experience with unkind comments, helping kids navigate self-worth and peer interactions.
but nevertheless, they have the capacity to make you feel bad about yourself.by observing, “I never noticed you had a mustache before.” There’s no value judgment in that comment, it’s an observation. But kidsare small,’” she begins. She notes that her immediate reaction was an “Oh well, everybody is different and that’s OK” approach. But something told her to hold up and take a different approach.
“I was like ‘Huh. That’s such an interesting observation. Why do you think it matters that much to him?’” she said, before continuing, “Different things matter to different people. I wonder why he cares so much about the size of teeth. He must think about his own teeth a lot. But really when it comes to teeth there’s only one thing that matters, and it’s not other people’s opinion. It’s that you’re brushing them and taking care of them. And you brush your teeth, right? ...
We are so here for this approach! It’s so simple but so brilliant. Because whether you’re 4 or 44 or 104, very often, someone’s comments about you say more aboutthan the person they’re directed towards and the sooner you learn that the better. And the element of encouraging kids to think about things that matter to them cannot be overstated, either. Because at the end of the day, it’s important to start thinking about our values. At 4, our answers aren’t likely to be articulate, but it lays the groundwork for them to be more thoughtful with their random observations and comments moving forward.
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