'I don't know what possessed me, because normally, I think I would have felt really uncomfortable asking this, but I asked her if she'd be comfortable sharing what the pay on her new job has been.'
of getting around these laws, and they aren't widespread enough yet to make a national difference. So, in the meantime, peer to peer salary sharing is still one of the more reliable ways to figure out how much your labor is worth in the market.
Mayssa told BuzzFeed that money can be a really sensitive and even shameful topic for a lot of people, but learning how to be more open about finances has been life-changing for her."Whether you grew up rich, poor, you have a lot of it, or can't seem to hold on to it, we have all internalized a lot of messages about money and how it should make us feel. And one of those messages is, don't talk about it. And that's not by accident; there's a systemic advantage for the powers that be for everyone else not to talk about money."She continued, saying,"When we start to unpack what lies beneath our shame about money and talking about it, we realize it's something we learned, not something inherent about money — money isn't in and of itself good or bad, moral or immoral. And when I started working on ridding myself of my guilt and shame about money, and talking about it more openly, it seems like I was able to attract and make more of it, and do a better job of holding on to and even growing it." And Mayssa says she's passionate about encouraging women and people of color to have these conversations because historically, they've been disadvantaged, and that has left a lasting impact."Even today, access to circles of power is limited, and we're starting from way behind when it comes to access to information, power, and resources in the workplace. As I mentioned, gatekeeping benefits the powers that be, so there's an advantage to keeping marginalized groups in the dark so that we stay stagnant where we are and don't disrupt the status quo.""There are also larger issues that hold women and people of color back in these spaces, related to unconscious biases and the way these groups are socialized in our society. For example, to be polite, agreeable, to show gratitude for opportunities, and 'not complain,' etc. These socialized traits and expectations can then prevent us from receiving our fair share. When we talk and share more, we help bridge that gap and break down these pre-existing forces and inequities working against us."I also asked Mayssa for her advice for anyone who wants to negotiate higher pay in 2023. She says,"The main thing that worked for me in my career was to always be open to new opportunities. You'll either land an exciting new role with a big pay bump and can make a move, or you might end up with an offer that you can bring back to your current company and say, 'This is what I'm worth in the market, but I love working here, so let's talk about my compensation.'"And she would encourage everyone to get in the habit of negotiating when it comes time to talk pay."I also always tell people to. You don't lose anything by negotiating, and it's very rare a company will rescind an offer because you ask for more. You'll either get what you ask for — companies are very incentivized to make things work once you've reached the offer stage. Or, they could say no, but then, you're right where you started, nothing less.""Lastly, I recommend to people to dig into their limiting beliefs around money and where they originated. When we identify where our
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