We're warning you: it's even worse than it sounds.
The Big Picture As an unapologetic fan of terrible movies, it was only a matter of time before I became burdened with the Olympian task of sitting through what very well might be the worst movie ever committed to film: 1987's The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. Paying penance for my arrogant belief that no movie is too bad to enjoy, my perception of how bad a motion picture could be was forever altered.
The answer? They didn't. The plot revolves around a human boy named Dodger who spends his time being bullied by a sadistic drug dealer named Juice and working in an oddities shop owned by the retired magician Captain Manzini . To complicate matters, he's fallen in love with Juice's girlfriend Tangerine , who's got enough years on him to make whatever relationship they ultimately form suspect at best.
The entire joke of the movie is that these kids are ugly. When, at the climax, these wretched souls are rounded up and brought to the State Home For the Ugly, the movie has strayed into complete contradiction. See, the State Home For the Ugly is a place where the world's most unattractive people are gathered up like rabid animals and executed for their crimes against beauty.
Dodger is hardly better, betraying his only friends at the faintest whiff of sexuality. He sniffs Tangerine's hair while she's unaware of how closely he's leaning in. He peeps into her bedroom behind a bush, and judging by his confidence and skill in remaining undetected, it's clearly not his first time. The way that he ogles Tangerine's body like an entrée is only one awooga away from turning him into the wolf from those Tex Avery cartoons.
'The Garbage Pail Kids Movie' Proves That Some Franchise Adaptations Should Be Left Alone After nearly two hours of seeing mutant children pissing their pants and farting in the faces of strangers, the question again arises: why? The obvious answer is that it was a quick, cynical cash grab meant to rake in as much money as brand-name recognition alone will muster. Topps wanted the money and didn't give a damn about the finished product.
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