When couples fight, it can be destructive. Marriage therapists say there is a better way to argue that can bring you closer.
Anyone who's been in a relationship has been there: the yelling and blaming, the insults, hurt feelings and ultimately withdrawal.
It's so common that marriage counselors have an old saying about it:"We only fight when we talk, so we just don't talk," couples therapist Saul Stern says. "It's critically important that couples feel comfortable bringing up the difficulties that occur between them, which are inevitable." Stern says there are a few pointers to do that in constructive ways. His advice is based on decades of psychological research with couples at the Gottman Institute in Seattle.
"If they are sincerely trying to understand each other, they feel acceptance is mutual and 'this person really does have my best interest at heart,'"Stern says. Part of that language is what Stern calls the"soft startup." Language such as"you don't appreciate me" goes negatively really quickly, Stern says. Instead, focus on your own feelings, he says, such as"we haven't had enough time for us lately. I miss you.
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Trump admin officials will not attend White House correspondents' dinnerTrump admin. officials will not attend White House correspondents' dinner, White House says.
Read more »
President Trump meets with Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey after accusing platform of biasCNN News, delivered. Select from our newsletters below and enter your email to subscribe.
Read more »
Police in Illinois release father's 911 call about missing 5-year-old son'We have a missing child.' With those words, the father of 5-year-old Andrew 'AJ' Freund calmly reported the Illinois boy missing Thursday morning, according to a 911 call released by the Crystal Lake Police Department.
Read more »
We stan: Merriam-Webster just added 640 new wordsMerriam-Webster just added 640 new words to the dictionary. These include: • Stan • Swole • Gender non-conforming • Buzzy • Gig economy • Screen time • On-brand • Top surgery • Garbage time
Read more »
A 24-year-old man has come forward to claim the third-largest jackpot in US lottery historyCNN News, delivered. Select from our newsletters below and enter your email to subscribe.
Read more »
House asks court to block Trump's border wall before it starts next monthThe House filed a motion asking a federal court to block the construction of President Trump's signature border wall through funds identified in his emergency declaration before it starts next month
Read more »
Kim Jong Un leaves for summit with Putin, North Korea saysNorth Korean leader Kim Jong Un is headed to Russia for his summit with Vladimir Putin, state media says
Read more »
This 10-year-old girl was born with no hands. She just won a national handwriting competitionA 10-year-old girl who was born without hands just won a national handwriting competition
Read more »
Former pharmaceutical company execs hit with drug trafficking chargesTwo former execs of a pharmaceutical distributor company are facing criminal drug trafficking charges on accusations of illegally distributing opioids and conspiring to defraud the US Drug Enforcement Administration
Read more »
NASA's InSight mission 'hears' first quake on MarsFor the first time since landing on Mars in November, NASA's InSight mission has recorded and measured what scientists believe to be a 'marsquake'
Read more »
Brooklyn man sentenced to life without parole in slaying of joggerA Brooklyn man convicted of brutally killing a jogger in Howard Beach, Queens, was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole
Read more »