Scary accurate.
Listen, you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their online shopping carts—their hopes and dreams, their deep-rooted family issues, how they feel about gingham. All the good shit, really. And because no one has tried to stop me, I’m going to tell you what each zodiac sign has hiding in their online shopping cart, because I’m qualified and I want to. I was born to tell you this information. And just so you know, we’re actually digging deeper than just an online shopping cart, here.
It’s sort of like magic or a prayer. Mantra. Whatever you can buy at Juice Crafters for $14.99. You click the button, wheee, and then it’s in a cart and you can look at the item and scroll through an imaginary life so much bougier than your own. You can pretend, if only for a fleeting moment, that you are actually going to buy a big gold fucking lamp and it will make you a better daughter.
One thing is for sure: If we can’t buy the lives we want, we can at least hoard online shopping carts that make it all seem a little more possible.Aries – Book on metallurgy, one of those chairs that’s like half a yoga ball, and an ice pack in the shape of a pineapple.
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