Reflecting on a marriage that began to crumble during wedding planning, highlighting the insignificance of choices like china patterns compared to the fundamental differences in personalities.
I can’t really pinpoint the exact moment when everything began to fall apart, but I want to say it started while we were registering for our wedding china.
I should have called our wedding off a dozen times leading up to the “I do’s,” but I didn’t. I just kept pushing forward because I believed the lie the bridal magazines had sold me: that it would all get easier after the stress of wedding planning was over. We just had to get through that one day and we’d have our entire lives to get back on track.
The fighting continued on the flight home and into the first few weeks of our marriage. Instead of celebrating our newfound freedom from wedding planning, we began to look for freedom from one another. Then we would cry and fight and cry some more while asking each other how we got to this point. I finally made an appointment with a marriage counselor, but the day before we were scheduled to see her, he called me while I was walking into my office.The stupid plates that we had fought over sat unopened in our spare bedroom. How could our marriage be over before we’d even put away the gifts? There were still bits of wrapping paper stuck with Scotch tape on the side of one of the boxes.
It wasn’t long before I got angry. I felt tricked into marrying a man who had no intentions of remaining married to me. I imagined him as a time thief, having robbed me of both the past few years and the years to come. The sadness came and went. As time went on, I realized that I was mourning something that never really existed. The man I had fallen in love with and agreed to marry wasn’t the same man I said “I do” to. I grieved the loss of that life almost as much as I grieved for what I expected to be my tainted future.
WEDDING PLANNING MARRIAGE PROBLEMS PERSONAL REFLECTION RELATIONSHIP DIFFERENCES MARRIAGE STRESS
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