A therapist uses a unique technique to help a patient struggling with a decision about her upcoming wedding.
When my patient couldn't decide on a wedding date, I used the two-chair technique to help with her decision.The blurry became clear, the complex got untangled, and what was hidden became obvious. Sometimes, when we need to decide whether to stay in a relationship or to break up with a partner, the two-chair technique can make the decision easy.
When Mary (not her real name for privacy purposes) came to my office, she raved about how wonderful her relationship with her new partner was, but she had a question she couldn’t answer. Her fiancé, who had moved in with her a few months prior, wanted to marry her in 2025 and was asking her to pick a wedding date. She couldn’t bring herself to pick a date and wanted my advice. When asked more about her relationship, she revealed that she was mostly very happy living with her fiancé but had moments of sadness andI brought two chairs facing each other. One chair was for the happy-with-the-relationship-Mary to sit on, and the second chair was for the unhappy-with-the-relationship-Mary. I asked Mary to sit on the first chair and tell me all about what she loved about her fiancé and the relationship. She described how she liked that her fiancé was intensely in love with her. He cherished her more than any man ever had. He was a great lover and an excellent provider, paying for all her expenses. She didn’t have to work anymore to make ends meet. He was everything she had ever dreamed of.Then I asked Mary to switch chairs, sit on the second chair facing the first one, and tell me all about what she didn’t like about the relationship. She got up, switched seats, and suddenly, her face changed to become very tormented. She said that her fiancé, who was retired, wanted to be with her all the time, and when not with her, he wanted to know her whereabouts in detai
RELATIONSHIPS DECISION MAKING THERAPY WEDDING COMMUNICATION
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