How to take a step back from your thoughts and let go of the ones that are hurting you
Once a person can observe their own thoughts and feelings, they can choose how to respond to whatever comes up in their mind.Source: Akshay Gupta / Pixahive
It’s altogether too easy to criticize yourself, isn’t it? If you make a mistake, arrive late, say something you shouldn’t—your next thought might easily be something like “I’m so stupid,” or “I always do this.” But have you ever caught yourself having these thoughts, and then taken a moment to ask yourself why you’re having them? If you’ve done this—if you’ve taken a mental step back from your immediate experience—then you’ve learned the trick of decentering.
Decentering has been fairly well studied in the world of experimental psychology. A 2015 review article in, written by Bernstein et al., defines decentering as “the capacity to shift experiential perspective… from within one’s subjective experience onto that experience.
Decentering may look and feel different to different people, but according to the 2015 review, three qualities are present in all decentering-related concepts: awareness of awareness , reduced identification with one’s internal experience, and moderated reactivity to one’s thoughts. Nina Josefowitz, Ph.D.—the author of—wrote in a 2021 blog post that decentering means “recognizing that thoughts are mental events that are not necessarily true and that you don’t have to react to or believe.
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