Extremely expensive, difficult-to-get-to weddings in places the couple have little to no relationship to are, against guests’ wishes, becoming the norm.
Early this past summer, Matt and his partner Zack met with their friends near their home in Canada for dinner, where they learned some wonderful news: Their friends were engaged! And they were thinking of having their wedding next summer in Spain! Would Matt and Zack want to come along?
“When they sold it to us, they said, ‘We found this beautiful villa in Barcelona. We’re gonna go. We’re gonna have a great time. It’s just gonna be a small group of people,’” Matt said. “Their justification for it was that it was cheaper than having a wedding here .” It was only after Matt and Zack agreed to the trip that their friends told them about a few catches. To start, the wedding would fall on a holiday weekend, meaning flights would be extra expensive — at least $850 each.
“Like, what the fuck are you doing?” said Matt, who, like all the wedding guests interviewed for this story, was granted a pseudonym. “It does feel pretty selfish.”decide to host their weddings in far-off and random locations to which they have no real ties, many of their guests have been quietly resenting them for it, frustrated at the expense, inconvenience, and hassle in attending. Some have been guilted into coming on.
Inherent in this decision to ask your loved ones to travel somewhere remote, though, is the understanding that many simply won’t be able to. But several people I talked to said they weren’t finding that understanding. When Georgia attended a lavish beach wedding thrown by a family member in Turks and Caicos, she opted not to bring her children in order to save money on accommodation .
Not all these destination weddings turn into disasters. Many couples do everything right — plan weddings in places with special meaning, pay for part or all of the accommodations, ensure their guests have plenty to do while they’re traveling, and are accepting of those who can’t make it. A few years back, Robert was invited to spend three days at an Irish castle where the couple had planned archery, falconry, Irish dancing classes, and even drag queen performances for their 60 guests.
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