The Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip Recap: All Bottled Up

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The Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip Recap: All Bottled Up
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Gizelle’s bottle drama is so over the top that she makes Candiace seem reasonable.

is that it makes me see the women differently and I wasn’t really getting that this season. Well, I take it all back. Like a bisexual at an orgy, I am switching teams left and right over here. I usually am a Gizelle partisan and loathe Candiace as much as George Santos loathes fact-checkers. No longer! I have always defended Heather Gay in favor of Whitney.

Not our Gizzy. She even gets sweet as Thai-Iced-Tea Pepsi to say that it was probably pilfered. Porsha shouts, “Not Pepsi with the tea.” Porsha, do not give PepsiCo, the corporation that brought us, any free ideas. If I see Pepsi Tea in a gas-station refrigerator-cabinet, I will show up at your house with Leah, who will do the period runs on your front lawn. Anyway, Gizelle decides that, at lunch, she’s going to launch a huge investigation into who has the bottle.

As that fight fizzles out, Candiace starts another one, asking Porsha why she posted a picture of the whole cast but tagged everyone but Candiace and Leah. As Candiace predicted, Porsha starts with “I don’t have to explain my Instagram to you.” Ugh, the coyness is annoying. On the bus ride over, Candiace and Leah were right: The worst kind of shade is passive-aggressive shade. If Porsha didn’t tag them for a reason, say it. Just do it.

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