SexDiaries: 9:30 p.m. We are home and fucking. It’s not particularly good or bad. If I had to be paranoid, I would say he’s fucking me to pretend we’re all normal. Read a week in the sex life of a man questioning what his dancer boyfriend has been up to:
This week, a man in a long-term, monogamous relationship questions what his dancer boyfriend has really been up to: 44, in a relationship, New York.I can’t sleep. I’m tempted to check my boyfriend’s phone while he’s sleeping, but it would just feel like a bad scene from a bad movie. All to say, the reason I can’t sleep is because I suspect he’s been cheating on me. We’ve been together for 14 years. Unlike the stereotypical gay male couple, we are monogamous.
What the fuck is happening here? How am I in my mid-40s and feeling insecure about anything? When I go back to the bed, he’s clearly fast asleep.On my way out the door, I go back into the bedroom and kiss him good-bye. He gives me a huge bear hug. I try to parlay that into something more but I cannot be late for work, and he’s not that into it, so I just leave.Cruising this press junket. I’m not as hot as I once was. I’m losing my hair, and I never work out.
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