These 6 suggestions can help end unwanted advances as kindly and compassionately as possible
Setting aside the tendency to like the people who like us is difficult.often skip steps toward personal intimacy. They might then lean on the principle of reciprocity, pressuring us to respond intimately."I told you. Now you tell me."Caring is a concern for a person’s well-being, whereas romantic desire is a self-oriented longing to be with the subject of desire.
In the aftermath, would-be lovers may be consoled by Tennyson’s resonant assertion,"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."Ending Unwanted AdvancesGeneralities are more effective than specifics when rejecting someone for two reasons. Our admirers can usually find ways around specifics.
That leads to personal requests from you that I don't want to do and personal questions that seem misplaced.Affection cannot be persuaded. We both know that's the way of the world. Of course, we each have the same human rights. But no one has the right to intrude into another person's life. And I need to live my life as I see fit.lovers often ignore diplomatic messages, so a firm rejection may seem disconnected from a sequence of more gentle entreaties.
Would-be lovers are strongly motivated to find holes in excuses. If our admirer detects a gap in our reasoning, that will only encourage more interaction. We don’t need to make excuses or negotiate our rights or justify wanting to be left alone.After the rejections, there is an asymmetry of compassion. Our would-be lovers feel no sympathy for us, whereas we may feel sympathy for them.
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