The Onion’s Super Bowl LVI Preview

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The Onion’s Super Bowl LVI Preview
United States Latest News,United States Headlines
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Al Golden, Cincinnati’s linebackers coach, has no fear about potentially blowing it despite being on the biggest stage in sports, because, like, who’s even paying attention to the Bengals’ linebackers?

The Rams running back only gained 48 yards on the ground and didn’t get into the end zone during the NFC Championship Game, so he’s clearly due for over 74.5 rushing yards and 1.

5 touchdowns—but remember, he’s also a lock for under 29.5 receiving yards. Vegas must be missing something because they set this same-game parlay at +950, so you’re guaranteed to put your kid through school with a wager of just 14 grand. Suckers.

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