Following the actor’s high profile cheating scandal on the Bravo reality TV series Vanderpump Rules, Tom Sandoval rocketed to fame as one of America’s most hated villains. The Onion sat down with the embattled celebrity to discuss what’s next for him, his career, and his extremely tumultuous love life.
The Onion: “Have you spoken with Ariana at all in recent months?” Sandoval: “Not directly. When we need to discuss issues with the house, we just leave each other notes written in blood on the walls.” The Onion: “When will your band tour again?” Sandoval: “When we have another affair to promote.” The Onion: “Which of Ariana Madix’s new projects are you most jealous of?” Sandoval: “Going out in public.
” The Onion: “Is it true that you’ve never apologized to Ariana?” Sandoval: “No, I have absolutely offered to have makeup sex with her multiple times since we separated.” The Onion: “Would you agree with the sentiment that no press is bad press?” Sandoval: “Definitely! I think I’ll cheat again!” The Onion: “Do you feel guilty for cheating?” Sandoval: “I had that part of my brain removed as soon as I was cast on Vanderpump Rules.
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