The “Golden Bachelor” may learn that the brain reacts to love the same way at any age, but older adults can be more selective when choosing a partner
People often think that older adults fall in love less intensely, without the giddiness and sheen of youthful infatuation. But falling in love as an older person involves the same group of neurons in our brain as it does in younger adults, researchers say.Dating over 50 certainly has its challenges — the pool of potential dates is smaller than in our younger years, and many older adults struggle to find connection. But relationship experts and over-50 daters say there are surprising benefits.
Even pop culture is getting into the older dating game. This Thursday, ABC will debut “The Golden Bachelor,” featuring Gerry Turner, a 72-year-old widower from Indiana. Several women over 60 will compete for his affection, and enthusiasts say they hope the show will break social barriers around dating for older adults.Carol Kramer found herself on the dating scene — this time in her 70s — after her husband of 32 years died.The couples therapist, based in New York, had little experience dating.
“Sure enough, the basic brain region and pathways linked with feelings of intense romantic love were just as active in people over 50 as they were among the people that we put in the machine who were in their 20s,” Fisher said.Humans have evolved three brain systems for mating and reproduction — sex drive, feelings of intense romantic love and feelings of deep attachment — Fisher said.
As an older person, “you are looking for certain emotional qualities, a certain kind of chemistry," Russo said."Really, what you’re looking for is a companion, a lover and a friend.”Twice widowed herself, Russo tried to date again in her 60s. “None of my friends knew anyone to set me up with,” she said. “But then I went online and there were all these people announcing they were available.
“I did not want to waste my time sitting and having meaningless conversations with people,” she said. “I wanted to get a sense of, ‘can I laugh with this person, do we get each other, was there chemistry, an emotional chemistry that resonated with this person.’ I wanted to see, ‘could I imagine kissing this person?’”Less likely to compromise
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