How did modern men manage to become so oppressive, crude, and backward toward women they share an upbringing with, asks Kekeletso Nakeli-Dhliwayo.
This is something I’ve always wanted to say, not knowing where I would find the words that could encompass everything that I wanted to say and truly express how I feel. So in my six hundred plus words, let me try.
We knew dad was the leader but even he knew there were lines he did not cross with mom. She commanded a certain respect that even he bowed to. I heard someone say to his wife the other day: “I paid lobola, I expect…”, then on another day we hear of men who throw their toys out the cot because wives have gone and enjoyed a night out with their girlfriends.
The modern, mostly city man, is actually a very oppressive man, with crude innuendos, neglecting responsibilities and burdening the woman who must carry his load, while remembering to submit to his every reasonable whim, demanding but never giving respect and honour.