Petulance is a choice, it's not a natural state of being
I have been giving allowance to my son since he was 10. He is now 14. It's not a lot, but it's enough for him to buy video games and other small items he wants. Sometimes, he saves his money to buy something more expensive. Now that he's a teenager, however, he treats me differently: talks in a condescending tone, is dismissive, rude, etc. Quite frankly, I'm tired of his behavior. I know this comes with being a teenager, but I don't accept that I should be treated this way.
Yes, cancel his allowance. Being an asshole doesn't come with being a teenager. Being an asshole comes with thinking there are no consequences to being an asshole. If you tolerate that behavior in any way, you are not being a kind, loving, tolerant parent, you are being an enabler. Huge difference. Would you allow one of your friends, co-workers, or, dare I say, a presidential candidate to treat you that way? I am hoping the answer is no. Tell me the answer is no.
Now, I know you're probably thinking,"But Luv Doc, you don't understand! He used to be such a sweet kid but then he became a teenager. It's the hormones or something." Yeah, probs. Hormones can really spoil your sweet kid's attitude. So can teenage acne, gangly limbs, pubic hair,"nighttime emissions," and a suddenly lower vocal register.
Plus ... and this is an important point: There are plenty of decent, respectful, nice teenagers. Maybe you just haven't met them. They come with all the same features as the petulant ones, just minus the petulance. I know this is going to sound overly simplistic, but, in general, petulance is a choice, it's not a natural state of being. It's immensely important that your son realizes this as soon as possible.
Treating others in a rude, dismissive, and condescending manner might be useful if you're the doorperson at a pretentious, bottle-service, dress-code nightclub that's going to close in six months because the owner snorted up the remainder of his trust fund, but in the real world it just makes you the person everyone hates. You don't want that for the fruit of your loins, so starting now, enact a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to shitty, disrespectful behavior.
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