The journalist’s dilemma: ‘I came home to tell Sudan’s story to the world: I don’t want to leave now’ | Zeinab Mohammed Salih

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The journalist’s dilemma: ‘I came home to tell Sudan’s story to the world: I don’t want to leave now’ | Zeinab Mohammed Salih
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One writer describes the shock of seeing the streets where she lives peppered with bullets

, my job is to understand my country and work out what is going to happen here. Often this is a very difficult job. But not with this war.

The evacuation of British nationals onto an awaiting RAF aircraft at Wadi Seidna airbase in Khartoum, Sudan.I worked under al-Bashir’s rule, when we had to submit our articles for censorship before publication. I had been arrested twice by the intelligence service for my work, and was kidnapped by a militia affiliated with the army in Abeye – a disputed area between Sudan and South Sudan. So my hope was real while covering the mass protests of 2018/2019 against our repressive ruler.

Until recently, I found a sense of normality in my mother’s sense of humour, making fun of me for being scared and losing weight after the start of the war, and in seeing children carrying biscuits to be baked for preparation for the Eid celebrations even while clashes were taking place around the city. But then we began to experience electricity, water and internet cuts.

The worst thing may be the uncertainty. This conflict could turn to an all-out civil war in a country that is deeply ethnically divided. As a family we are still unsure whether to leave or to stay and face whatever is coming. This is a very big choice. We are a big family, with some disabled and sick people and children so this is the hardest decision to take at the moment.

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