Pro-Israel protestors counter a Pro-Palestinian rally in New York City, on Oct. 13, 2023.
on Oct. 7, Marina, who spent much of her childhood in Israel but now lives in the U.S., heard from friends and family all over the world, expressing sorrow and concern for her relatives. But even as she posted videos and photos on social media, where she is not usually active, she did not hear from one of her dearest friends, with whom she usually communicated daily. The women had met through their husbands, who were best friends.
She used to feel she could tell her mother anything. After Oct. 7, that changed. They tried to talk about it. “It was so obvious, the road it was going to go down, that I just backed up, she backed up, and we realized it's better just not to open the door,” says Michally. That reticence has bled into other areas of her life; she’s keeping some recent health issues from her mother. “I don't like seeing my family in those lights,” she says.
A lot of that discussion is in turn inflected by the lens through which people view history. As a Black feminist, Kiesha, a consultant from Washington State, believes that her demonstration of solidarity with the oppressed, who in her view are the Palestinians, is more important than any one relationship. She has had painful conversations with people she cares about and who have been supportive of her in the past.
One close friend never contacted Elissa—who says her position is pro-peace rather than one side of the other—to see if she and her family were OK but published several anti-Israeli posts online. The message Elissa has gotten from that combination of actions is the friend assumes that because Elissa’s Jewish, she’s stridently pro-Israel and “we can’t have a conversation about it. And ‘I do not care if you’re OK or not, because, you know, your people deserve this.
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