Although we claim to be understanding when someone forgets us, deep down we apparently don’t quite recover from the sting
Photo: lose Turgeon / EyeEm/Getty Images In a touching new study on what it’s like to be forgotten , researchers plumb the depths of how it feels and what it means when someone doesn’t remember our names, the things we say, or that we exist at all.
The most salient aspect of the study, for me at least, is that although we claim to be understanding when someone forgets us, deep down we apparently don’t quite recover from the sting of being told, essentially, that we didn’t register as a person. In their paper, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the researchers write that “even when being forgotten was explained away” , being forgotten “still reduced felt importance and closeness.
I once dated a guy I’d met years earlier, which he remembered and I didn’t. I liked this little story because it made me feel important, although he later dumped me, so maybe there’s a silver-lining corollary about how it’s the un-showy, initially under-the-radar people who can often have more lasting impacts.
The study also includes this poignant detail: “Each day over a two-week period, participants described every experience in which they were forgotten by others.”
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