Mike O’Brien concludes the hilarious sea adventure of his series for The New Yorker.
This is Part 3 of a three-part serialization. Read Part 1 and Part 2. IV. MISERY My men were dehydrated and hungry. I doubled their rations of the remaining flour, which led to more vomiting and dying. There was nothing that would please them. Then I heard a voice crying out from the distance. “Good God, man, just dock your ship over here!” I licked my cracked, bloody lips and squinted across the water. Had I imagined it? “I have food and water,” the voice continued. “Lots of ham sandwiches.
The Fortitude drifted too close to the cannibal shore and its hull was ripped open by a dock. I woke to find water gathering in the hull. I shook my napping crew, but they’d all died of scurvy and/or been bitten to death by rats, drowned, etc. The Fortitude was lowering herself into the Thames a few feet per hour, and there was nothing I could do. The gods seemed hellbent on me never kissing a topless Tahitian.
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