I’m tired of hearing that I should be happy with what I have.
, Jack, at 20 weeks, documenting the trauma on her social-media accounts. I applaud this much-needed shift and increased awareness of the long-taboo topic. Yet, when it comes to the particular nuance I now face — being unable to grow my family — there’s no one talking about it.
In fact, I’ve pretty much stopped broaching the subject altogether, even with my closest friends and family. When I have opened up, I’ve almost always regretted it. “You have a beautiful son,” more than one friend has reminded me. “You’ll be fine” is my mom’s auto-reply. “How about you take one of my kids?” a family member once joked. There are also the standard suggestions of adoption or surrogacy, or sometimes a flippant “just try again!” — as if it has ever been that easy.
I know people aren’t mind readers. I don’t expect them to have an inkling of this carousel of emotions when they ask if our son has a sibling. But I do wish there was more compassion for the honest answer — that I really want another child, but it’s probably not in the cards. Instead, they assume that my longing somehow contradicts my gratitude for the child I do have.
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