The hazards of opening your mouth and letting words fly at work

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The hazards of opening your mouth and letting words fly at work
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Workplace advice: If you want to resolve an interpersonal conflict at work, you can’t afford to blast the other person.

When you’re upset with another person, do you open your mouth and let your emotions erupt and words fly? If you want to resolve an interpersonal conflict, you can’t afford to blast the other person. While you may feel vindicated, you risk the other person attacking back, getting defensive or shutting down.

Better yet, ask the person to speak first by saying, “I’d like to hear your thoughts about… .” By letting the other person begin, you establish that how they see things and feel about the situation matters to you. You do this best when you give facts rather than your conclusions or emotional responses. Here’s an example: “You spoke before I finished speaking” rather than “you’re domineering” or “you interrupted me.”

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