Post-Covid, we were promised another Roaring Twenties, but for many of us the reality is very different – so just what is going on with our sex lives?
hoped that, after a difficult few years, her sex life would be back on track and thriving. ‘When I couldn’t date because of the pandemic, I told myself I’d make up for lost time when life got back to normal,’ says the 31-year-old.The reality looks somewhat different from her fantasies. ‘I’m using dating apps and I’ve had a couple of one-night stands recently, but that’s it. I feel differently now, like I’ve got less time for experiences that are meaningless – sex included.
As for sex, it seems we’re suffering a collective post-Covid slump, branded the Great Sexodus by sexual wellness brand Lelo. Of 4,000 people surveyed in its 2022 sex census, almost half – 45% – said they’d had less sex than before or no sex at all in the past 18 months. One in 10 said they hadn’t even kissed another person during that time. The top reason, listed by 45% of participants, is ‘mental health, including anxiety’.
It’s inevitable that this has had an impact on the sex we have, too, she says. ‘I’ve seen an upturn in the number of clients concerned that their sex lives have dwindled.’having sex, it seems there’s been an attitude shift. Since 2020, we’ve been forced into a collective reassessment of our priorities, and this seems to be seeping into our lives between the sheets, too. For many, it’s a positive change that means trying to make every sexual experience count.
Research by dating app Bumble suggests that singles are also thinking differently about sex. According to its research, 42% are now approaching sex, intimacy and dating in an open and exploratory way, in a trend it’s calling ‘ethical sexploration’, with more than half agreeing that it’s important to discuss sexual wants and needs early on.
She describes their sex as ‘grown-up’, saying, ‘We’re really into trying to please each other, which I haven’t experienced that much. A lot of the casual sex I’ve had has been with guys who’ve been very influenced by porn – a couple put their hands around my neck, which I hated, and there’s been a lot of wanting crazy positions. The guy I’m with is much more considerate.
Dating site Plenty of Fish has coined the term ‘hesi-dating’, defined as feeling ‘unsure if you want to date seriously or casually because life in general is so uncertain right now’. A survey by the site found that 58% of users are unsure if they’re seeking a fling or full-blown commitment.
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