“As I put it to a friend recently: I love how she normalises being a mad bitch with dysregulated emotions.”
, there’s an element in Lana’s work of being what used to be called a “hot mess” – a beautiful woman whom no man is really capable of handling Like any sad girl worth her salt, Joni also refused to conform to expectations about which emotions she could distill into art. When recording, she was told she was making herself too vulnerable in revealing so much of her despair. Like Joni, Lana makes me feel better about my own sadnesses.
Some will hear these words and think it’s part of that same old “I’m-not-like-other girls” shtick. But really Lana’s output is the opposite of. Lana doesn’t regulate or hide her emotions to make herself more appealing to men. In fact, it’s the opposite. Some have called her brand of female vulnerability retrograde – in her own words, she’s “a modern-day woman with a weak constitution”. I say, no, fuck it: lean into the abjectness.
Perhaps the reason that I love Lana’s music is that, though I’ve found the societal fetishisation of female pain distasteful at times, I’ve never really bought into the dated feminist narrative that you need to behave more like a man in order to get ahead, either. I have never been “post-wounded”, as Leslie Jamison, in her brilliant essay “Grand Unified Theory of Female Pain”, calls the women wary of melodrama who stay “numb and clever” instead.
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