A mother reflects on the increasing trend of 'no gifts' birthday parties for children, expressing her personal reservations and the joy of giving presents on a child's special day.
I came to motherhood rather late in life, just shy of my 45th birthday. Five years later, I’m now a 50-year-old mother to my curious, funny, creative 5-year-old daughter, Daya. The past five years have gone by in a flash, giving credence to the keen observation about parenting that the “days are long, but the years are short.
” Since the COVID pandemic arrived when Daya was just 4 months old, the first few years of her childhood were devoid of in-person social moments like playdates and children’s birthday parties. I remember celebrating her Mukhe Baat, a Hindu ceremony marking a child’s first rice feeding, via Zoom. So, I’ve relished the return of celebrating birthdays with all their fun trappings — games, birthday cake, party favors and of course, gifts. Whenever my daughter receives an invitation to celebrate a friend’s birthday, I feel a tinge of excitement on her behalf. But, I’ve been shocked to receive a few invitations that included this note: “Please no gifts.” While I’ve seen requests like this from a few adult friends celebrating their birthday or wedding, a child’s birthday without gifts feels like a half-filled balloon. As a parent, I feel torn. In general, I respect parents who have different parenting philosophies especially because I believe they have their children’s best interests at heart. However, on a personal level, I feel like a child’s birthday should be about the child’s wishes and not those of the parents. And I have never encountered a child who didn’t relish receiving presents on their big day or savor the chance to tear open colorful wrapped packages, wondering what delight lies within. A few months ago, Daya received an invitation to a friend’s birthday party. I asked her what her friend loves and she exclaimed, “He loves trucks!” So, we picked out a truck and wrapped it up and she made a card, drawing herself and her friend playing together in the park
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