The author reflects on a painful betrayal by a friend, questioning the societal emphasis on dialogue and emotional processing as a substitute for accountability and swift consequences. Drawing parallels to ancient legal systems like Hammurabi's code, the author explores the emotional need for proportionate retribution and the discomfort of navigating modern relationships lacking clear expectations and responsibilities.
. They did so with all indication that it would hurt me, the crush being a crush — and also a psychologically draining commitment to a convoluted “friendship” that pointed to a fundamental crisis of being. The crush was stupid, I know. But my friend was the person with whom I processed these stupid feelings. I trusted them to look out for me.
It was one of those genius ideas that only a Neanderthal, or a man, would think of: simple, intuitive, commensurate with the initial harm. A conventional apology might ameliorate some tension, but an officially sanctioned slap would provide a physical release, a neat outlet for extinguishing anger. It would act as a prophylactic against future carelessness; no more rogue hands at weddings.
As expectations become slippery, relationships tenuous, all I have left to cling to is the railings of legal metaphor.I convene an assembly of friends, my boomer therapist, to screen for gaps in argumentative logic.
Social Commentary Friendship Betrayal Accountability Communication Justice
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