If you’re in the process of adopting (or are parenting an adopted child), our friend Jennifer Phillips is here to give you a word of encouragement:
It’s been five years since I walked into a civil affairs building on the other side of the world and a stranger was placed in my arms. Five years since her wide, wary eyes looked up at mine, terrified, and my hopeful eyes looked down at hers, pleading, “Could I please have the privilege of being your mother?” Her answer? She turned her head to search for anything familiar, found nothing, and cried.
For the last five years, we’ve waltzed: safety-trust-rest, safety-trust-rest, round and round, awkward at first, yet adding a little more confidence to our step each time we dance. Five years of dancing and our feet are tired, but our steps are lighter because there is now so much we both know. I know she can only sleep with the door cracked and the hall light on. She knows I’ll come right away if the dark is still too dark.
I’m learning to sit, content, in the mystery of a love that discards the self-righteous, controlling expectations of my early parenting days and says, “I love you because you are mine.” A love that sometimes gets it right and oftentimes gets it wrong, but never stops pursuing. A love that delights in what is given, but never demands. A love that dismisses timelines of supposed success and says, “I’m here. Take your time.
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