Clocking in at nearly three hours, “The Batman” is “designed to try the patience of the toughest fan,” Anthony Lane writes. “What’s weird, despite the narrative expanse, is how much of the story feels rushed.”
I’m gonna wash Batman right outa my hair. That was my plan, at any rate, after watching as much of “Zack Snyder’s Justice League” as I could take; even the most loyal fans of the Caped Crusader must have wondered, over the decades, if the crusading would ever end.
And the plot? Same as it ever was. Rich kid, orphaned in his youth, vows to clean up the dirty metropolis—a mission that he shares, incidentally, with Travis Bickle, in “Taxi Driver” , the difference being that Travis is not too proud to crack a smile. Notice that the cleaning is never literal; although the streets of Gotham, in “The Batman,” are squalid and strewn with trash, not once is it proposed that Bruce might care to divert the Wayne family wealth into sanitation or garbage collection.
Leaving aside the question of whether Bruce Wayne, who is chalk white and super-privileged, has himself invested in hedge funds, and how they may have bankrolled his sterling defense of the law, one has to ask: what is this “fun” of which Selina speaks? It’s certainly not a concept that “The Batman,” dropsical with self-importance, and setting a bold new standard in joylessness, has much use for.
Pattinson’s allure, before which I am as helpless as anyone else, springs from the fact that, in keeping with his godlike exterior, he is a light knight as well as a dark one; what he brought to Nolan’s “Tenet,” in 2020, was not just fine tailoring but a casual comic élan. “The Batman,” to its shame, and to the deep detriment of its leading man, turns out the light. It demands that the hero be nothing but dramatic, all the time. “They think I am hiding in the shadows,” he declares.
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