The new Apple TV+ adaptation of Terry Gilliam’s 1981 film is a crime against little people.
owes its magical Monty Python-esque charm, humor, and spirit to its title characters: a gang of time-traveling little-people thieves who bicker, scheme, band together, and make bad jokes during the course of their era-spanning odyssey. Devoid of condescension or clichéd mockery, and infused with its protagonists’ distinctive personalities, it was—and remains—one of the preeminent modern big-screen platforms for little people.
Thus, to remake it without them is creatively nonsensical to the point of being outright offensive, since it both misses the entire reason for the original’s existence and denies actors of short stature some of the most notable roles they’ve ever been given. It’s akin to, say, redoingobjectionable, considering that unlike those supporting parts, the Time Bandits—funny, roguish, clever, and brave—are the heroes of their story.
Though they repeatedly claim to be a leaderless collective, the Time Bandits are guided by Penelope , and they also include navigator Widgit , strongman Bittelig , empath Judy , but they stole his most powerful possession: a map that allows people to travel anywhere in time. They’re using this chart to steal precious artifacts while avoiding being captured by their old boss as well as Pure Evil , a demonic baddie who wants it for nefarious purposes.
Kevin and his band of merry burglars are soon hopscotching through the ages, making stops at Troy, Stonehenge, and ancient Egypt to partake in hijinks with Cassandra , the Earl of Sandwich, and other figures who—unlike in Gilliam’s feature—are not played by big-screen luminaries such as Sean Connery, Shelley Duvall, and. There isn’t a single amusing concept or witty line to be found in these 10 installments.
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