THE MEDITERRANEAN SEA—On the heels of a damning report detailing how Clarence Thomas accepted millions of dollars in lavish, unreported vacations from a Republican megadonor, sources confirmed Thursday that every justice on the U.S. Supreme Court read about the corruption allegations from different Mediterranean…
a damning report detailing how Clarence Thomas accepted millions of dollars in lavish, unreported vacations from a Republican mega
donor, sources confirmed Thursday that every justice on the U.S. Supreme Court read about the corruption allegations from different Mediterranean yachts. According to reports, all nine Supreme Court justices, including Clarence Thomas himself, were simultaneously sunbathing on private boat decks off the coasts of Italy, Spain, Greece, or Croatia when the news broke, at which point they viewed their phones, or uni shooters directly into the ocean.
bring a hot towel. At press time, every single Supreme Court justice had told their assistants to hold their calls because they would need the next several hours for a Malaysian masseuse to work out all the knots in their backs that the Thomas report had caused.
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