'I felt a sense of loss.'
He also confessed to cheating on his long-term partner Paul Atkins soon afterHowever, in a newly revealed extract from the memoir, John has admitted he had to spend time apart from Paul after his strong feelings for Johannes.‘Not because the competition was over, I was knackered and ready for a break, but because I wouldn’t get to see Johannes every single day.
‘I was jealous of the sweat beads as they shimmered on his beautiful skin. I wanted to be close to him… We hugged goodbye, I didn’t want to let go.’‘Johannes knew that [the curse] could happen. He had seen it a thousand times with his dance companions over the years. He went on: ‘For a while, Paul and I had to have some time apart. I felt like I didn’t know what I wanted from my existence any more.
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