This article highlights common phrases grandparents may use that inadvertently create discomfort or insecurity for their grandkids. It emphasizes the importance of mindful communication and the potential harm of encouraging secrecy from parents.
Your Grandkids May Be Afraid To Tell You This, But We're Not. You Need To Stop Saying These Phrases To Them.
“It can be hard to change the way you say things but it’s important to be intentional with your words, and be aware of how much words can impact the way your grandkids think and feel about themselves and their relationship with you,” Lockhart said. One note before we dive in though: If you’ve used any of the below phrases before — or happen to slip up in the future — try not to worry too much or beat yourself up over it.
“As responsible adults, it’s our duty to support and encourage children to be confident in their own skin,” she said. “Let’s avoid making any comments that could potentially harm their self-worth and lead to insecurity. I hear about it constantly in my practice from young children through adults. Harsh comments from grandparents like this are remembered and replayed over and over again.”
Instead, she suggested saying something like: “It’s wonderful to see you again! I’ve missed spending time with you. How have you been?” Open-ended questions about your grandkids’ current interests, activities or hobbies are great, too. “You can also model this practice by listening to your own body, and stopping when you feel full and eating when you feel hungry,” she said. “Modeling good eating habits is more important than any comments we can make.” and difficult behavior in kids. When you see your grandchild acting ungratefully while opening a mountain of presents or throwing a fit because they didn’t get their way, you might be inclined to make a comment about how spoiled they are.
“Kids often feel like they don’t have a lot of self-determination, so it can be a powerful message to send that important grown-ups in their life will respect their body boundaries no matter what,” Dorn said. “This approach also reinforces the idea that physical affection is a personal choice, promoting a healthy understanding of boundaries and consent in other areas of their life.” Parenting styles and best practices change over time.
Grandparents Communication Children Parenting Advice Secrecy
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