A girlfriend details a frustrating situation where her boyfriend's intense preference for a specific, expensive stew leads to conflict when she attempts to make a cheaper homemade alternative. Despite discovering the takeout stew contains tomato paste, which he claims to hate, his reaction to the homemade version and the revelation about the takeout stew escalates into an argument, family involvement, and a stubborn refusal to eat the previously beloved dish.
,"My boyfriend loves stew; he wants to eat it every day for every meal. His favorite stew is beef tips and vegetables from a local place, but it’s really expensive. Like $47 for a big bowl , and leftovers gross him out, so more than half of it gets wasted. We’ve had a couple of arguments about it; he says I don’t understand his brain; I say he doesn’t understand our budget.
"He walked out of the restaurant without saying anything and then refused to eat the stew that night and hasn’t ordered it again, and he’s been ignoring me while sulking around the house, using his whiny voice a lot, and slamming things. His sister also texted me to tell me I’m a selfish asshole for needing to 'get back at him' by taking his favorite food away."
"That’s a beautiful expression of consideration and care on your part...It’s one thing to struggle with food , and it’s another to struggle with emotional dysregulation , but as an adult, he needs to address these things. They might not be hisbut they are his responsibility, full stop. Living on such a limited diet sounds like it would be very distressing, and it’s not just affecting him anymore; it’s affecting you, too — someone who loves him. It can’t stay this way.
Communication is the answer here. If you can get him to understand why you're hurt and come to some understanding/agreement that works for both of you, great. If the support of a couples counselor can help the process, do it. But if you can't even get him to stop demonizing you and care about YOUR feelings in the first place, then what are you doing with him? Find a partner that's more on your level. Wishing you luck and sending you strength. You've got this.
And with you having been together so long, I do understand him feeling this was malicious because he probably thinks you knew it would ruin it , but he is still the asshole here because he is taking this out on you, presumably not believing you that your intention was actually to expand safe foods, and is bringing other people into it.
RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS COMMUNICATION FOOD SENSITIVITIES AUTISM FINANCIAL DISAGREEMENTS
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