A woman is struggling with her sister's refusal to contribute financially to their brother's care. The brother resides in a seniors' home with limited funds, and the woman and her husband are shouldering the financial burden.
I have always been close with my only siblings, my twin sister (67) and our brother (72). But sis and bro have had many issues over the past few years and bro chooses to distance himself from her. I feel like I’ve always been the family matriarch and arbitrator. Bro is now in a seniors’ home with virtually no funds to speak of. His daughter and I arranged the move, a very stressful time for us all. There was little help from my sister.
We had amicably and firmly agreed several years ago to share some costs related to our brother. It should be noted that the funds expected are a few hundred dollars a month, not thousands, and my sister can afford it. She insists our bro is not her responsibility. She says he can be on the street, or he should be the responsibility of his daughter. Our brother’s daughter cannot afford to help financially. My husband and I are now looking after my brother financially. My sister firmly refuses to assist. Further, she is angry at me when I bring up how disappointed I am that she has done this. While I appreciate that she is on her own and is careful with her money, she did agree to help financially in some ways. I’m keeping the peace for the family’s sake, and my husband is a true and generous gem, but my sister’s continued lack of help is causing a real rift. Your help is welcome.Your sister may think that she’s working out her conflict with your brother – through revenge, which is not a very effective form of family conflict resolution – but the person she’s hurting is you. It’s not fair. Being the family arbitrator is a thankless job; the pay is lousy. It’s also a position that many folks should resign from. Ask yourself how much of your conflict with your sister is about sharing the financial strain and how much is about trying to keep a fractured family togethe
FAMILY DISPUTE FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY ELDERLY CARE SIBLING RIFT FAMILY CONFLICT
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