Sorry, but hating you is their only option.
Your Son Murders You And Marries Your WifeIn accordance with an unspeakable prophecy, your son kills you and takes your place on the throne with his own mother as queen.Kids are more observant than we think, and if you’re a complete waste of a human being, your son or daughter will likely pick up on it and want to distance themselves from you.Asking Pets To Assist Them With Homework
When your spouse is working late, they’d rather see what the cat knows about fractions than get your help.Your Child Regularly Plants Your DNA At Crime ScenesThey Make You Drop Them Off For School In A Neighboring StateIt says a lot about your relationship that they would rather hitchhike the 60 miles back from the border each morning rather than risk being seen in the same car as you on the nine-block drive from your home to the high school.
After everything you’ve done for your erstwhile ally, it might sting to be repeatedly stabbed until you bleed out in the Senate, but ultimately this is a teaching moment: Take the lesson and learn from it.You’re Portrayed Unfavorably In Every Drawing There’s no way your nose is that big. And last time you checked, you didn’t have horns, a pitchfork, or multiple gunshot wounds.List slidesIf they learned martial arts and vowed to destroy you via the mighty blade if they ever found you, you might have some work to do.Per Eastern European tradition, your children are either signaling to you that you are their least favorite parent, or they are trying to ward off Baba Yaga.
Contrary to the old adage that absence makes the heart grow fonder, most kids prefer the parent who stayed home and raised them through their childhood.Of course it hurts when your child looks you in the eye and whispers “tick tock, bitch, time’s almost up,” but the best thing to do is remember this kind of favoritism is perfectly normal in children under 4.
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