A reader asks Miss Manners if it's polite to point out a substance on another person's clothing, even if they don't seem to notice. Miss Manners weighs the potential for embarrassment and the kindness of a heads-up.
Best of Miss Manners : Mother says she might be annoyed if you tell her she has Play Doh on her shirtDEAR MISS MANNERS : As I was dropping my two toddlers off at school this morning, I noticed another parent with what appeared to be red play dough or some other squishy substance smashed onto the back of his shirt.
I do not know this parent, and I did not know whether to alert him to the state of his shirt. He may have been aware already, or he could have been having a rough morning and would not have been receptive to my notification. Or he could have swung home to change his shirt before he headed to his next stop.
As a mom of two young boys, I know that I have walked around unaware of food or some other substance my kids’ sticky little hands placed on my clothing. On some of those days, I would have appreciated someone telling me, but on other days, I think I would respond with total annoyance .GENTLE READER: You are annoyed when a stranger tries to save you future embarrassment? Miss Manners supposes it is your own business -- if it is truly not apparent on your face.
Telling the other parent before he makes his presentation to the board of trustees is a kindness. Doing so is not mandatory, however, which is all the more reason not to discourage it when you are the stickee.
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Social Etiquette Manners Play Dough Embarrassment Kindness
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