“Obviously I should be able to sleep with whomever I want to, but doing that isn’t making me feel great,” says Vogue writer Annie Lord on whether or not you should friend-zone someone before dating.
“I’m a friend-zoner,” Jama explains. “That’s my technique: I friend-zone everyone I fancy, and act like I’m not interested so I can suss them out as much as possible, find out how they are, and let them let their guard down a little bit. Then, either they make it out of the friend-zone stage because I still like them, or they don’t and they just stay my friend.”
I asked my friend what she took from the quote. “I don’t want to rush into it and then find out they’re a dickhead,” she explained. “And what’s the rush, you know? You build up so much sexual tension when you take your time.” I thought the idea was interesting, but I didn’t think it was for me. Maya Jama probably has so many men queuing up for her, she needs to filter them out in this way. My friend is also extremely beautiful—she was two hours late for brunch and I didn’t care, I just smiled at her sleepy feline eyes when she did arrive. I remember, in December, she came to my New Year’s Eve party and sat chatting in the only room that said “Don’t enter” on the door.
But then, over the next few days, I thought more about Maya’s advice, and how maybe I have been rushing into things. On the surface, it looks as if I’m doing great. I’m, going up to men and introducing myself, sitting across from them on wobbling bar stools and smiling when they say things like, “You’re dangerous, you are.” Like the Welsh farmer I met on a night out in Leeds over Christmas.
I’ve watched too much true crime because I got it in my head that, since I couldn’t see his friends, he was going to murder me when I went back to his. My best friend Vicky solved this by taking lots of pictures mere centimeters from his face, flash on, in case the police needed them for evidence. The photos are so blurry that even if he did do something, you honestly wouldn’t have been able to use them to pick him out of a police line-up. I didn’t die; actually, I had a great time.
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