Elise Solé is an experienced writer and editor who specializes in parenting and pop culture for the TODAY audience. She’s a former New Yorker who lives in Los Angeles. She loves true crime shows, gummy candy of all types, running and hanging out with her son and husband.
A mom who says her kids need “permission” to snack knows that you likely don’t agree. “Most people would consider us strict parents,” Allison Singleton, a mother of five in Indiana, tells TODAY.com. When Singleton recorded a video about her food rules on TikTok, the feedback included comments like “restrictive” and “controlling.
” “Things I do as a mom of five that you might not agree with: You don’t snack without permission,” Singleton said in her video. “You don’t just go and help yourself.” Singleton added in her video that she only cooks one meal for her family and that the dining room or the kitchen is for eating, unless it’s family movie night in the living room. Singleton’s rules met with mixed reviews on TikTok. “Telling a kid they can’t have snacks if they’re hungry is incredibly controlling and wrong.”“My kids were always allowed to snack.” “Too many rules. OMG.”“It may be wrong for you, but if a family is large and on a budget, there has to be rules.”“Snacks with permission ... ridiculous.” “Sometimes rules like these lead to eating disorders in children.” “Kids should be able to eat whenever they want.” “This will only create kids who hide food in their rooms.”“Very reasonable rules.” “My kids can help themselves to whatever they want, whenever they want.” Singleton, whose kids are 7, 9, 11, 13, and 14, tells TODAY.com that her own parents did not limit snacks in their home. “We ate whenever we wanted, and as a result, I ate when I was hungry, bored or sad,” she says. “I had very poor eating habits and I was overweight.” Singleton taught herself to eat intuitively and limit portions, which she says is difficult in a snack free-for-all. “When I don’t monitor my children, they’ll get a box of crackers and dump them on the counter or fill up the biggest bowl,” she explains. Singleton says when she hosts playdates, “I also set limits on snacks.” If her children’s friends want seconds , Singleton says they can ask, though, “I am often more lenient when a friend is over.” Should Kids Need Permission to Snack? Parenting expert Deborah Gilboa, a family doctor and author, says snack access depends on the age of the child. Parents are learning how to teach kids to respond to their hunger cues, Gilboa, a resilience expert, tells TODAY.com in an email. “It’s only in the last generation that ready-made food was a possibility,” says Gilboa. “One hundred years ago, food was labored over and stored really carefully because it could go bad — there was no such thing as ‘grabbing a snack.’” According to Gilboa, most parents have a majority say in their children’s diets until about the age of 12. “In later middle school and early high school, the balance shifts and kids start to make their own food choices, except for at mealtime,” she explains. Parents then can offer “any time” snacks, like fruits and vegetables, says Gilboa. She encourages kids to practice accessing food without regulation — so they know how to do it. “Parents can share their concerns,” says Gilboa, “but also show faith that kids are learning the lessons.”
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