A friend's insecurity about her husband's communication with his ex-wife is causing tension. The friend wants to control the situation, but it's causing conflict and potentially damaging the marriage. The author seeks advice on how to approach this delicate situation.
My friend often confides in me about what’s happening in her marriage. She is sensitive about her husband’s relationship with his ex-wife and told him that he should communicate with the ex-wife only about their daughter. He recently had a medical emergency and had to let the ex-wife know he’d be late in picking up the daughter (they have shared custody). He texted the ex-wife without showing my friend the message, and then, my friend said, “His phone blew up.
” He’d said he was in urgent care as a result of having a centipede bite, and the ex-wife became concerned and asked questions. My friend says he could have simply said he’d be late, and she asked me if I thought he was undermining her by talking about himself and not the daughter. I said no, and she looked surprised and hurt. I can’t help but feel my friend is trying to control her husband’s behavior to an unnatural degree, but unless she asks what I think I’m not going to say this. What would you advise in this situation? It seems only natural that someone, even an ex, would have follow-up questions and concerns about a person’s trip to urgent care. And it makes sense that your boyfriend’s brother would give context for his lateness, if for no other reason than it keeps his ex from thinking he’s just being a flake. These are reasonable responses. Your friend may be feeling insecure about the level of contact these two people have because her relationship is still new. But that’s something she needs to work on within herself first and then with her new husband. It’s overly controlling to put restrictions on texts with the ex-wife, especially if she’s going to be this precise about what constitutes a text about the daughter and what isn’t. This is going to exhaust her and test her marriage. As a friend, you may want to let this particular instance pass without further comment, but it will be helpful to gently guide her to a healthier way of thinking about her relationship in the future. Because her husband seemingly has a healthy relationship with his ex-wife, they’ll presumably be communicating for the rest of their lives, even if only about the daughter. It’s best for your friend to adjust her expectations and find ways to be secure in the marriage she’s building
Relationship Advice Controlling Behavior Communication Ex-Partners Marriage
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News: You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Personal Perspective: Talking to the deceased is a way to process your loss.Personal Perspective: You loved them in life, you love them in death, you love them until the end of time. You need to tell them that. Every day. Tell them, tell them, tell them.
Read more »
TikToker Pauline Kulka Reveals Unexpected Way To Tell If Someone Is Your Real FriendPauline Kulka, a successful entrepreneur and TikToker, shares her unique insight on identifying true friends. She emphasizes that observing how someone reacts to your good news is a more reliable indicator of their true nature than their reactions during tough times.
Read more »
This TikToker Shares The Number One Way To Tell If Someone Is Your Real FriendPauline Kulka, a TikToker and co-founder of AVEIL, a luxury bridal rental company, recently shared a piece of advice she claims took her years to figure out: the best way to tell if someone is your real friend is to observe how they react to your good news. Kulka explains that true friends will celebrate your successes as if they were their own, while those with less genuine intentions might make backhanded comments, downplay your achievements, or try to make it about themselves.
Read more »
Dear Abby: Should I tell my friend her kids are too old to co-sleep?A reader asks Dear Abby for advice on how to handle a situation with her friend whose children are still co-sleeping with their parents at ages 11 and 9. The reader is concerned about the appropriateness of this practice and whether she should confront her friend about it.
Read more »
Ask Sahaj: How do I tell my friend I don’t want to travel with her?A friend, who was recently diagnosed with dementia, keeps pushing to plan a trip with the letter writer, who doesn’t want to travel with her.
Read more »
The Surprising Ways We View AI: Friend, Child, or God?This article explores the impact of societal perceptions of AI, highlighting how metaphors shape our understanding of this complex technology. The author delves into the dangers of anthropomorphizing AI, emphasizing the importance of recognizing its limitations and the potential consequences of viewing it as a human-like entity.
Read more »




