Savage Love: When brutality is the point of brutal honesty
I'm a 19-year-old girl who was dumped a few months ago. My partner found out he didn't like my body when we were having sex for the first time, and he told me right after. We were actually still in bed naked when he told me. He kept cuddling me to make me feel a bit better but it still hurt to hear. Other than slight doubts about genitals and my face , I didn't go into that experience expecting to be rejected.
The late Canadian humorist and newspaper columnist Richard Needham wasn't talking about your ex-whatever-he-was when he made that observation, BODIES, but he could've been. Yeah, yeah, sometimes we only realize we aren't as attracted to someone as we thought until after we've slept with that person. That's sadly the case sometimes. But your ex-whatever's comments were so gratuitously cruel, BODIES, that it's hard to avoid concluding that cruelty was the point.
That your very first sex partner chose to brutalize you like this — that he didn't make the slightest effort to spare your feelings — is an almost unforgivable betrayal. Unless this boy is somewhere on the spectrum and has difficulty anticipating how a direct statement might hurt another person's feelings, BODIES, there's no excuse for what he did. Sticking around to cuddle after saying that shit isn't proof he's a good person.
If you had to get a therapist after sleeping with someone, it's a pretty good indication that person should have no place in your life — as a lover or a friend — going forward. Keep seeing your shrink, BODIES, and stop talking to this asshole.
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