NEW YORK—According to a report released Tuesday by the Brookings Institution, the lone non-telepathic individual living in the world today is still completely unaware that every other human being has the ability to mentally receive and channel thoughts.
Further evidence showed that the individual’s mind is too distracted by the simple concerns of a non-telepathic life to comprehend such complex ideas as electroreception and thought manifestation.
“According to our research, the subject devotes nearly 100 percent of their time and brain activity to duties and aspirations that have all been rendered meaningless by the advent of telepathy,” said Brody, adding that the individual is, at this very moment, probably attempting to grasp the full reality of what is being revealed to them in this text.
“You know, we’ve tried for years to channel the most simplistic thoughts to the non-telepath, but the fact is, nothing went through,” said a source claiming to be very close to the individual. “No matter how many times we tried, the big dope just sat there with the same stupid look and no clue of anything we were trying to project.”“Who knows what would happen if the non-telepath ever found out about the five-year plan,” the source continued. “That’s honestly too sad to think about, really.
Based on the evidence gathered, experts can only surmise that the solitary non-telepathic individual will likely live the remainder of life unaware of the powers of telepathy and clueless of the ongoing psychic conversations that are ever present in the world.
Taking into consideration that roughly 7 billion members of the world’s population received the entirety of this article earlier today as it was broadcast from the mind of thisreporter while writing and editing this piece, sources acknowledged that only one without the capacity to communicate telepathically would benefit at all from the remaining 57 words of this piece.
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